Thus Spake Doctormark

It's a weird thing about living on this planet that about the time you finally attain some genuine wisdom about what it's all about and how to live the good life, it's nearly time to check out.

This doesn't make a lot of sense to me. On the surface, it appears to be a fundamental design flaw. Why should we have to beat our heads against the wall for several decades before we understand why we're here and what to do about it? What should we be on the verge of apparent personal extinction before we learn life's mysteries? Just when we get good at the game, it's over.

Actually, this odd phenomenon does imply something about the purpose of life. It is consistent with the idea that the reason we are here is to gain wisdom through experience and once we have it, it is time to move on. It suggests that the main purpose of life is not to be achieved on this earth, that the reason we are here is to prepare for life beyond the mortal existence.

I'm not saying that this fact of life -- that we disappear not long after we attain the age of wisdom -- proves that the universal is meaningful, that all our struggles are not in vain. But I am saying that such an interpretation fits with the facts.

No one has ever proven beyond doubt that life is meaningless, at least not to me. There are plenty of skeptics and cynics and doubters and disappointed idealists who fiercely assert that it is all a crock. But I just can't bring myself to believe it.

I once did. In fact, there was a period of years in which I lived in a universe I truly believed was without meaning. It was a lousy place to live. This philosophical bent did give me an opportunity to demonstrate courage. I did not flinch from a cold or hostile reality but surmounted chaos, alienation, and ultimate meaninglessness through a supreme assertion of will.

I finally got tired of it. It was just too hard not to believe. After some decades of doubt and disbelief and questioning and pondering and soul searching and seeking to look life square in the face, I finally concluded that I would never as a human being be able to know with absolute certainty whether or not this life meant anything, whether or not God was real or a reassuring self delusion.

As it was a philosophical problem I was unable to resolve, I dissolved it. I have had some profound personal experiences -- overwhelmingly intense spiritual or psychological experience -- that totally convinced me on a feeling level that God was real. But reason told me that this profound personal experience could simply be a psychological aberration, a delusion. I talked to one psychiatrist about this experience in detail, and he assured me that I had experienced a "psychotic break." It was the most intense experience of my life, something that left me some forty years later still unable to ever fully doubt God's existence.

But my real point here is that I realized that -- being convinced that I would never be able to answer beyond all doubt the question of God's reality -- it was really up to me to decide for myself what kind of universe I lived in. I looked at the consequences of the two main possible view points and placed my bet.

I got to choose between a life of faith and a life of despair, a life of confidence and hope and one of meaningless suffering ending in oblivion. I looked at the lives of men of faith and contrasted their lives with those of men and women who rejected religious living. Did I want to be Madalyn Murray O'Hair or Mother Teresa? Joseph Stalin or Martin Luther King?

My personal leap of faith is predicated primarily on the practical effects of seeking to live a master philosophy of life.

Why am I telling you all this? It's not to try to convince you that I am right about God being who Jesus Christ revealed him to be.

Your life is your business, and so is your religion or lack of it. I'm not out to convert you.

But I would like to help you, if you want. What makes my life worth living to me is to experience myself as someone who cares for other people. I suppose I am about as selfish as most people, but it makes me feel good about myself when I am able to sometimes conquer the egomaniac clamoring for recognition and honor and do something selfless.

It turns out that I have learned a great deal of wonderful stuff about life, the genuine secrets of becoming an authentic and self-actualizing person, how to have thrillingly genuine relationships with others, how to create wealth, how to become your own best version of yourself, lots of other great stuff.

And I want to share it. That's the purpose of this blog.

I'd like to know more about you, how you see things, what you want, where you are going in life, what you have learned. You are invited to participate in this conversation.

It's really all right if you think I am some kind of weird nut case. You could be right. I hope to make this blog interesting and exciting, maybe controversial, so whatever you want to post is fine with me. I'm after negative as well as positive feedback. So even ill intentioned personal attacks are welcome. The only thing I'm going to whack are posts that are filthy. (If they're funny, I may leave scurrilous comments as well.)

So, welcome to my blog. If you want more out of life, hang out and let's see what happens.

Best,
Doctormark